Wednesday, November 26, 2014

such a jokester.

Do you ever miss something you've never had? Such a cliche question, I'm aware. It's something I've been thinking about recently, and more often. We all miss the things we have yet to experience. We all desire things that seem, for at least a time, unreachable. And yet, we all go about acting as if we don't really want or need them, and as if we are all incredibly independent as to not care. I feel the longing we all pretend we don't have, when I see couples fall in love in the movies, or read about it in my books, or when I have the chance to watch it happen in this lovely realm we call reality. It fascinates me to witness the daily excitement that is real. The facial expressions that butterfly churning causes overwhelms me with happiness for those people that are feeling it! How wonderfully blessed they are to have such an experience.

Long story short: This post is my confession that I do want that. I want the sappy romance. I want a family. I want the growth that can only come with an eternal companion by my side. Unfortunately, I have yet to receive that blessing. This may come off as desperate, if you interpret it as so, you are very much mistaken. I will be patient, and I will do my part while I wait. It's only recently that I've realized I must cope with the fact that I need to be humble. Because, I prayed and asked God to take this desire away from me, that is, until the time to actually have it arrived. He chuckled and answered "No way, my dear." He thinks he so funny...

So until that blessing comes, dear friends, I will live happily and vicariously through you, the movies, and my books.


Wednesday, September 3, 2014

hoping and wishing up flukes

Ever have those feelings for an old crush sneak back up on you?
Well I am currently having those.
And I'm hoping
and praying,
that it's just a fluke.